Jempress’ blog

I can't wait to meet my little boy!  I'll be 33 weeks on Monday, and the whole nesting instinct has hit full blast.  Though I need to study for my NCE, what's on the forefront of my mind is getting ready for a newborn.  Study statistics and t scores, percentiles, and construct validity, or wash baby bottles, launder old toys and set up lala's old swing?  That's been the battle of my mind recently.  Poor Chaco - he's been thinking about and immersed in the beatitudes, what Jesus means when he says "blessed are the poor, woe are the rich" (in Luke, different than "blessed are the poor in spirit" in Matthew) - and all his wife can think about test this and baby that.  

A few evenings ago we had our dear friends Gid and Charlie stay with us.  We have 3 bedrooms, so Lala slept with us that evening, which is absolutely her favorite thing in the whole wide world.  As she lay in bed, she called out to Chaco, "Daddy, time for sleep!!!"  I told her that Daddy was talking to his friends, and he'll be going to bed later.  She then proceeds to yell, "Daddy!!  You talking to friends?  Daddy!!  YOU talking to friends???"  DAADDDDY!  YOU TALKING TO FRIENDS???!!"  I said, "Lala, yes, Daddy's talking with his friends."  She faces me, points at me, and says, "Mommy, no talk to Lala.  Lala talking to Daddy.   DADDY!!!!!  YOU TALKING TO FRIENDS????"  She then gets off the bed, and yells the same question through the closed door.  

This happened just a few seconds ago.

apparently ultrasounds are pretty hard to read :).

Scenario 1:  Lala's painting, and the paintbrush moves from her paper to her feet and legs.  

Chaco and I watched the latest adaptation of Lorraine Hanberry's A Raisin in the Sun last night.  I've also come across a few articles from different avenues that resonate with the impact of the play-turned-movie.

Article #1
Commercial pressures may have "worrying psychological effects" on children.  From the article: "Professor of child psychology Philip Graham -- who is leading the inquirys lifestyle theme -- believes that commercial pressures may have "worrying psychological effects" on children.
"One factor that may be leading to rising mental health problems is the increasing degree to which children and young people are preoccupied with possessions; the latest in fashionable clothes and electronic equipment.
"Evidence both from the United States and from the UK suggests that those most influenced by commercial pressures also show higher rates of mental health problems," he said.

Article #2
from the editors of Christian Counseling Today, a periodical I get from the American Association of Christian Counselors.  The latest edition was solely focused on crisis, trauma and post-traumatic stress.  This particular article starts out with the latest school shootings, and the fear that this may induce in our current young people.  It emphasizes, however, that trauma is in people all around - war, disaster, assault, hate crimes, accident, abuse victims, etc:
    "It seems we no longer recognize what a cruel and cold-hearted age we live in, instead
    carrying on in a stupor of constantly-pummeled adaptation that dumbs down our very
    ability to understand our plight and demand - a life without fear.
    But wait!  Some do understand it, but are living a fallicious response by imprisoning
    themselves in a cruel lie.  These are the wealthy in every country who live in walled
    and gated communities, ferried about by an entourage of gunslinging guards who are
    hired to keep the poor and threatening people of the world at arm's length.  These are
    the people who, by believing they are protecting themselves, are instead constructing
    modern-day prison-homes of the most lavish luxury.  These are the people whose very
    lives are constructed in ways that never let them forget the dangerous world in which
    they live - a world that always shuts them in by the very fear from which their
    abundant monies can never set them free."

From A Raisin in the Sun (Sidney Poitier's 1961 version)
"But, I thought I taught you something else too.  I thought I taught you to love him! There's always something left to love.  Have you cried for that boy today?  I don't mean for yourself and for the family because we lost the money!  I mean for him!  And what he's gone through, and God help him, what it's done to him.  Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most, when he's done good and made everything easy for everybody? Oh no, no, that ain't the time at all. It's when he's at his lowest and he can't believe in himself cause the world done whipped him so. When you start measuring somebody, measure him right, child, measure him right. You make sure you've taken into account the hills and the valleys he's come through to get to wherever he is.

How do these three excerpts tie together in my feeble mind?  My dad asked me a question the other day, he asked if I believed that being rich was a sin.  I answered no, but I did believe that God blesses us so that we can bless others, not to hoard it for our own selfish gain.  My heart feels conflicted today - a desire to not isolate myself from the reality of the world.  Is it just commercialism and consumerism that is eating away at our children's hearts?  Or is it the effects of selfishness and isolation that occurs when life is about building a perfect paradise for "me and my family".  Comfortableness, only being with people "like me",  can it be that these are side effects of fear? My heart and mind are troubled because this is my default life, but I'm ready for change.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.  God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.  What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done.

Despite everything in my life, all my words, accomplishments and stupidity, my hope and my life can be summed up in the paragraph above.